Wednesday, November 23, 2011

owen grey: birth story

my baby boy is 6 months old. he melts my heart every time our eyes meet.  here's how he joined our little family:  
wednesday, may 25th, evening: house is clean.  nursery is complete.  clothes are folded.  bags are packed.  we're due to arrive at the hospital in a few hours for the induction.  there are a few tings left to do.  
#1: get a blessing from DJ.  he gives such heartfelt and inspired blessings, and this one was no different.  among other things, he blessed me that the delivery of the baby would go quickly and smoothly.  as soon as the blessing ended, mack jumped up on the chair and requested a blessing of his own.  sitting there so quietly, with his eyes tightly closed, and his arms folded, my heart swelled with love for my first-born.  I know he'll be an amazing older brother.  DJ blessed him that he would be a good example and friend to his little brother.  I couldn't help but cry a few tears as I mourned the passing of our one child phase of life.  for the past 2 years and 7 months, mack was the center of our universe.  I couldn't help but feel badly for him that his world was about to be turned upside down. we gathered in mack's room for one last bed time with only the three of us. 
second order of business: pick up my mom (a.k.a. super woman) from the airport.  a most important detail.  I picked her up, drove her to our home, and we enjoyed conversation for 30 minutes before DJ and I left for the hospital.  
10:30 pm: arrive at the hospital for induction and registration. 

10:45: head upstairs. 

final pregnancy picture + setting up of the live "newsfeed" to our families. 

11:58 pm: pitocin administered.  I was already having irregular contractions and other signs of early labor, so they picked up very quickly. 
1:00 am: ready for the epidural.  up to this point, I had been nothing but calm and collected.  I felt peaceful and ready for the birth of our next baby.  uh, here's where that stopped.  as the anesthesiologist entered the room with her little cart, I began to hyperventilate.  then the shaking began.  then the tears.  I was having a panic attack.  at that moment, it did not register in my mind what was happening, and I couldn't pinpoint why I was crying.  I guess seeing the needle for the epidural brought my subconscious fears to the surface.  they wouldn't let DJ stand up to hold my hands for fear of him fainting due to watching the epidural (little do they know he spends all day long handling needles and administered shots into people's mouths).  so, instead, they asked the anesthesiologist to come back shortly.  good call.  I calmed down, collected myself, and closed my eyes until she came back in and the epidural was over.  whew.  relief.  I slept for a few hours, and was pleasantly surprised how well the epidural was working.  
4:00 am: doctor enters to check my progress.  no progress.  no wonder the epidural was working so well.  he broke my water. 
4:15 am: epidural no longer working.  contractions hurting a lot.  tried to wake DJ.  no cigar.  he was out.  lovely.  pushed the little red button on the medicine administrator for the epidural many times.  still no relief on the left side.  
5:00 am: DJ still asleep.  libby still in lots of pain.  page the nurse.  "push the button," she says.  "I did," I say.  she calls the anesthesiologist.  
5:45 am: anesthesiologist ups the dosage.  ahhhhh.  that's more like it.  back to sleep.  
7:10 am: nurse checks progress.  "don't push," she says.  I feel like perhaps she has the wrong idea.  
7:15 am: DJ's awake.  nurses are ready, doctor is ready, I am ready for a couple hours of pushing like the first child.  
7:18 am: pushing begins.
7:19 am: owen grey enters the world.  one of the best moments of my life. 
I can't properly describe the feeling I had when I first saw him.  it's like I've always known him, but he looked like a little stranger.  familiar, but so new. 
we snuggled and he fell right to sleep--foreshadowing his calm and content demeanor. 

the meetings begin.  DJ's parents arrived first.  then carli and her fiance...
...and finally my mom and mack.  he was a bit shy at first, but he warmed up quickly, and hasn't stopped loving on his little brother since. 

the two days at the hospital were pure heaven.  DJ stayed with me, and we got to know our little guy while my mom brought mack for lots of visits and also kept him feeling happy and attended to. 

however, when it's time to go, it's time to go, right?  I was ready to head home and start to adjust to our new life. 

the first bath with mimi:
grey is an angel.  he is so content and happy, and has been from day one.  I won't sugarcoat--the transition to two kids was no picnic, but he was trying to make it easier on me.  
the other person who made it easier on me: my mom.  she stayed fro a full two weeks, and was heaven-sent.  she cooked her signature dishes, cleaned every nook and cranny, helped mack transition into brother-hood, potty trained, crafted, played photographer (and assistant photographer) and kept me company when I felt like I was falling to pieces.  I couldn't have done it without her.  I'm a lucky girl.
5 days old:

7 days old:

blessing day: 
blessing outfit:
 (booties made by my mom)

the family:

grey has been everything I wished for and more.  I worried about making room in my heart for another child after I felt my heart was bursting with love for my first one.  it's amazing how another "room" opens up.  I treasure my mid night feedings with him, and I love every waking moment of cuddling, cooing, smiling and laughing.  he wakes up smiling, kicking and cooing, and he goes to sleep laughing, cuddling, and rolling.  he is the perfect addition to the differing personalities in our home.  he has grown so much, and I have hundreds of pictures to prove it.  baby steps.  
welcome, baby grey.  
if you knew how much we love you, you'd faint.  :)


Katie said...

Tears. Big ones. I love this post and I'll tell you why:
1: DJ sleeping
2: quick pushing (so happy for you after Mack...)
3: your super mom
4: you're a super mom
5: beautiful pictures
6: we second children need to feel the love and clearly he does.

Wishing we could see you at Christmas! Sending lots of love and warm holiday wishes your way.

Dad (TMF) said...

Glad the skies are Grey!! You couldn't ask for a better sun.

Jana said...

Love your dad's comment.

And that post was soooo great. I cried and laughed. I wish I could have captured every moment with my labor stories as well as you did. That was wonderful!!! And you are GORGEOUS!!!!!!! I am seriously going to fly you to Utah for my next baby, if Jason ever lets me have one!!! :) And I'm not joking.

Brittany said...

Beautiful post Libby! Grey is so cute! I'm sad I never held him when we were over. I did have fun watching Mack and Eli "play" though. You have a beautiful family.

Sausha said...

I love this post! Your family is beautiful Libby!

Abigail said...

Libs Congrats! Grey is adorable! Miss you!

Amy F said...

Oh, I just love that little Grey. Glad you captured everything with such detail. Down to minutes... wow... I don't think I ever noticed those details!

Your picture taking is priceless. (amplified by the help of DJ and Grandpatty...) And I am excited for your growth in motherhood. It is a wonderful journey.

kristen said...

oh i love those newborn pictures! those are so precious libby! do you have one of those "white wood" poster things or is that real wood? love it!

kami said...

Ah! I loved every photo. Seriously, it is all so beautiful. You have a beautiful family! We need to get together soon...I can't believe he's already 6 months old!

MJ said...

I loved reading this, even more the second time., ;). You are a super mom, and it's so sweet to see how protective Mack is of his Gray.

Michele said...

loved your story...and Grey is gorgeous...congrats and when baby # 3 and 4 come a new room opens up again.